Pistachio & Fig

We dedicated this bake club to Nana whose birthday it was on this glorious day in September. I'm not bitter that it wasn't dedicated to me. Not to boast or anything but I did complete a 20 mile walk that night...

...and that's right, September! That makes this blog post more than three months late. I've been busy alright. Shut up.

Did I mention that the night before I did a 20 mile walk around London in aid of Maggie's Cancer Caring Centres? I got home around 07:00 and I had a wee snooze. I don't know where I got the energy to do anything that Saturday. I zonked like a conker that evening.

You might think that this is me, shattered and resting after completing a 20 mile walk but actually it isn't me. Anyway it was her birthday so we let her off.

We decided on this rather lovely looking cake from Design Sponge - I can't remember who found the recipe but the princess of the day (not me) was quite happy to have it as her birthday cake. I'm quite glad she agreed or I was going to rohypnol her ass.

Shelled pistachios are hella expensive. So we opted for cheap far east labour instead.

Our designated ball busters. I mean nut crackers. I mean pistachio shellers.
Also known as Chinese to you and me.

Once the pistachios were shelled and finely chopped we had to give them a good beating. The pistachios fool, not the Chinese people. This ain't that kinda website.

I tried explaining to the pistachios that my mamma said a good beating never did no one no harm but they wouldn't listen. Anyhoots don't be fooled by their crocodile tears, give 'em a good beating. However don't go overboard like our bondage loving friend Haryo.

This is not cat sick.

Gawd, he's got his small prick out again. Always one to prove a point.

I think I was praying for a Christmas miracle and guess what folks it came true. I prayed that I would upload the blog around Christmas time and lo-and-behold. See this blog post isn't late. It's perfectly on time. Just like our baby Jesu. Well he ain't ma baby, maybe he's yours.

I got my prick out for a reason you know. Perfection y'alls is the name of the game.

They got me doing the work again. It's like they forgot that I had just completed a 20 mile walk. I don't think I've mentioned that I'm not bitter for like five minutes at least.

I guess they just know when to hand over to perfection. That's it. Yeah, I is perfect bitches. Except for that thin bit in the corner.

Here is some fig compote we made earlier. Proper Blue Peter style ... well minus the three middle-England white presenters. Just four Konni (chiwa -bitches) Huqs!

Lick it now...

Spread it good...

I don't think I can sing the rest of that song. We are family friendly peeps.

What a convenient time to wake up
I will admit that she had the hardest task - sharing. I'd have stabbed everyone and gobbled that mother by now.

It was hella freakazoid good
Now that's what I called service

Coconut Cream Cake with Lemon Curd

Haryo's cute apron. 

The first session of Bake Club kicked off to the sound of whirring hand mixers. Yusof, Nana and Haryo met up at Joyce's (that's me!) flat to embark on their first challenge - Coconut Cream Cake with Lemon Curd. The recipe came from The Noshery's blog (click here for recipe) and actually asked for lime curd. Since none of us had time to make it beforehand, Haryo and I went to Sainsburys to search for it. They didn't have any lime curd, although they did manage to have three different brands of lemon curd. So we ended up subbing that instead. 

Brandishing his weapon of choice

Ingredients

The recipe itself was fairly easy, although we ran into a bit of bother when we couldn't find the right sized tins to put the batter in. All turned out fine in the end though. It was great having two teams to prepare separate parts of the cake, as it turned out to be half the work (a quarter of the work, maybe) for everyone involved.

Discussing the finer points of cooling a cake

"Is that enough curd?"

Okay, you probably want to know how the cake turned out. Not bad, not fantastic (my personal opinion, the others may beg to differ). Why? Well, it was really sweet, even for my sweet tooth. I think we could have done with cutting down a quarter or even half the sugar in the recipe. The tanginess of the lemon curd did help to cut through the sweetness, though, and the toasted coconut was a nice touch. Made it smell delicious. 

The cake itself was pretty dense and wet though, I wonder if it's because of all that heavy buttercream and coconut cream asked for in the recipe? Then again, it could be because we only left it in for 35 minutes, as opposed to the 45 minutes specified in the recipe. Our skewer came out clean anyway. 

Ta-da! Result!

Eating time

Innards - gooey and tasty

All in all, I think it was a pretty successful first meeting, and we even managed to make some plans for future meet-ups. Did I leave anything out? Let me know!